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The Concert: An Interactive Aural Odyssey

by These Stains Are Who I Am

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Zack Schmidt
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1.
Welcome To The Concert 00:51
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2.
The Concert 01:38
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Friday night, 6pm Getting ready, got a plan Bought my ticket months ago Now it's time to see the show I've been waiting for this day To hear my favorite band Nothing will stand in my way To see These Stains Are Who I Am I check the time, late for the bus Take a deep breath, no need to rush What'd I forget, don't really know Ticket's in my hand, I've got to go As I'm running down the stairs My heart begins to burst I remember what's back there My fave These Stains t-shirt
3.
My Shirt 01:20
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I dart upstairs into my room Tear apart my dresser drawers Looks like a bomb has gone KABOOM And all my clothes are on the floor I'm not leaving without my shirt I'm not leaving without my god damn shirt I run downstairs and check the laundry Precious stains all washed away Grab some candy from the kitchen pantry Now I have to run and pray But I'm leaving with my shirt But I'm leaving with my god damn shirt Woo! I missed the bus, I have to walk Public transit can kiss my ass A block away I see a dumpster Something feasting in the trash Is it looking at my shirt Is it looking at my god damn shirt WOOO
4.
Desire In Your Eyes 02:09
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Come in closer, no need to be afraid Get out of the dumpster, let’s end this masquerade When I see your face under the moon My heart starts to race 'cause you’re a raccoon The desire in your eyes Are you looking right through me The desire in your eyes Do you think you can fool me Should I risk an embrace, could this love go far Or vanish with no trace, once you get my candy bar But I feel the spark, creature of the night Now it's getting dark, will you be my light
5.
In The Dumpster 01:39
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I take one step forward but it's two steps back I just wanted a new friend, now I'm getting attacked Bites on my legs, scratches on my arms Climb into the trash to escape from harm Now I'm right where I belong Guess that I was in the dumpster all along I hear the raccoon prowling, so I can't get out No one coming to help me, can't hear me scream and shout It stinks so bad that I'm gonna choke Stuck here all night and I’ll miss the show But I'm right where I belong Guess that I was in the dumpster all along Game over, game over In the dumpster all along
6.
Sugar 01:41
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My mama told me that love is blind But I swore love could see when I looked in your eyes My mama also told me that I was a fool And I proved her right as I watched you drool for my Candy Sweet sweet sugar, all you wanted was my Candy Gave you some sugar, then you were gone I tossed the candy bar into the air You snatched it up and skittered off without a care I held back the tears as I turned away I'll come back to find you another day with more Candy Sweet sweet sugar, all you wanted was my Candy Gave you some sugar, then you were gone
7.
Fast Enough 01:45
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Step step stepping on down the street Going to the show gotta beat those feet Moving so fast I can feel the heat Streetlights flashing in time with the beat Gettin’ everybody out of their seats Am I going fast enough (Fast enough, fast enough) ‘Cause I wanna be on time Am I going fast enough (Fast enough, fast enough) I keep wishing but life keeps dishing So I’m missing all the rhythm and rhyme I wanna be on time Hands are spinning don’t wanna be late Going too slow gotta up my gait All this walking was a big mistake Gotta make a move, can’t hesitate It’s time for a leap of faith Am I going fast enough (Fast enough, fast enough) Cause I wanna be on time Am I going fast enough (Fast enough, fast enough) I keep wishing but life keeps dishing So I’m missing all the rhythm and rhyme I wanna be on time
8.
Faster! Faster! 01:58
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Feel the sugar coursing through my veins I’m a rocket through the Milky Way I’ll keep on running right through the pain Got me feeling like a Hundred Grand I’ll keep running all across the land I’m determined to see my favorite band Faster faster, running through the night Faster faster, I will win the fight Faster faster, gonna lose control Faster faster, ‘til I’m gonna blow I’ve got the courage, I’ve got the grit I’ve got a cramp, Take 5 and sit No! I’ll power through, I’m not gonna quit Feeling dizzy, world’s spinning round Haven’t even made it into town Hear Snickers in my head as I fall down Faster faster, running through the night Faster faster, I will win the fight Faster faster, gonna lose control Faster faster, ‘til I’m gonna blow Oh no, I think I’m gonna blow Game over man, game over Oh, here it comes Mommy…
9.
Spark Of Hope (Teens) 01:56
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Walking down that lonesome road Streetlight behind to guide me home I turn away, back towards the dark Thumb held high, waiting on that spark of hope Spark of hope Dust devils wind and tumbleweeds roll Vultures circle high, my spirit sinking low Then a single car slows to a park Flashes the headlights, lighting up my spark of hope Spark of hope Spark of hope Spark of hope A beat-up sedan with peeling gray paint skids to a stop beside me. The windows down, I see four teenagers with colored hair, beanie hats, and trendy vintage clothes. A stale, skunky aroma with hints of nacho chip dust wafts on the evening breeze. They stare at me for a second with a mix of pity and curiosity, before the skinny guy in the driver's seat asks, "need a lift?" "I'm going to the concert," I say, and the girl in the back stoically responds, "dope, hop in." Is this a happy coincidence, or another distraction on my quest?
10.
Rusty Volvo 01:49
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We hate our parents, driving us insane We hate our school, putting junk in our brains Yeah teen-age sucks (Sucks) And growing up is so damn hard At least we can borrow my step dad's car We ain’t got shit, we got no dough So we just drive around in this rusty Volvo We don’t have jobs, we won’t go home So we just drive around in this rusty Volvo We hate the preps, nerds, and jocks all the same The only thing we really like is a band called These Stains (Are who I am) Have you heard their stuff and which song do you like best Prove that you’re cool, more real than the rest We ain’t got shit, we got no dough So we just drive around in this rusty Volvo We don’t have jobs, we won’t go home So we just drive around in this rusty Volvo
11.
My New Dad 01:54
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Well my mom’s got herself a new man and he really sucks He’s got an office job, wears khaki pants, and doesn’t drive a pickup truck He won’t eat red meat, says he’s worried ‘bout cholesterol He drinks fancy wine from Europe and he doesn’t want to watch football Oh she loves him so, but I just don’t know How do I connect with my new dad How do I form a bond of mutual respect with my new dad Show some vulnerability, no toxic masculinity I want a positive male role model so bad In my new dad I’m met with silence, and I’m worried that I’ve said too much Guess I came on way too hard, should’ve used a softer touch The girl in the backseat sighs and says her folks’ divorce was rough The driver cranks up the radio, I guess he’s had enough I’m a little sad, but I just want to connect with my new dad
12.
These Stains Are Who We Are 01:46
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I can’t believe my luck, I made it to the show alright Some crazy stuff has happened, but now it’s time to rock all night These stains are who I am These stains are who we are These stains are the friends we made along the way These stains are who I am These stains are who we are These stains let us know that everything’s ok These stains are who I am These stains are who we are These stains remind us tomorrow’s a new day These stains are who I am These stains are who we are These stains are here and will never go away
13.
Reach Your Grail 01:18
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Wading through the putrid pools decay is all around Visceral fatalities in piles on the ground Left and right and left and right your legs will go no more Quickly while your lungs still burn before they close the door Blistering heat burns your back, can you carry on Dashing down the killing plains, another automaton Ford the fields, fast your will 'til you see the white of their eyes Crack their bones, break their nerve, listen to their cries Can you reach your grail Through the fire and the hail Can you reach your grail Through the fire and the hail
14.
I'm Early 02:07
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Step off the bus as light as the evening breeze I made it to the concert hall, my heart’s a-flutter, I’m weak in the knees Compose myself, take my place in the queue Excitement turns to boredom, I don’t know what to do I’m early, so early I’m early, so bored To make things worse my empty stomach begins to rumble Should have grabbed a snack at home, ‘cause now my patience is starting to crumble The man next to me says, I’m hungry too I’ll hold your spot in line if you go pick us up some food I’m hungry, so hungry He’s buying, should I go
15.
Hot Meat 02:16
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Rain rattles down the gutters and drips off my fedora. I see silhouettes of happy people chowing down on dinner in every apartment window. But here I am, on the street, stomach empty as a bum’s bottle of rye. I can feel eyes on me as I walk, burning a hole in the back of my head. I turn and see her, a most beautiful creature. But I can’t be distracted by dames right now. “Beat it, toots,” I say, and the huge rat scurries off into a storm drain. I turn down a side street towards my destination, out of the cold comfort of the street lights. My phone chimes, “You have arrived”, but I’m flummoxed as a polar bear in Hawaii. I see two storefronts with two nearly identical neon signs, both spelling out the words: “Hot Meat.” One is adorned with illustrations of a juicy burger, steamy fries, and a cold milkshake. The other depicts a slender pair of legs with stilettos and fishnet stockings. I’m a tough man to fool, and yet, I’m suddenly unsure of my next move…
16.
Grounded 01:32
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Bass is pumping, heart is thumping Sweaty naked bodies grinding, humping A bouncer spots me I say it’s all a big mistake He makes me call my mother And just like that he’s sealed my fate Now it’s too late Now it’s too late Now it’s too late I’m grounded Bass is pumping, heart is thumping (Game over) Sweaty naked bodies grinding, humping (I’m grounded)
17.
Greasy Love 01:36
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Surrounded by people I feel so alone The hunger is all that I’ve ever known And I want you so bad that it tears me apart Each passing order is breaking my heart Oh serve me up some love I’ve been waiting at least 15 minutes Oh serve me up some greasy love You know that I want it you know that I need it Love! I stare down the cashiers, the cooks on the line I plead to their souls through their young, tired eyes I need some food now to get back to the show If I take someone else’s well how will they know Oh serve me up some love I’ve been waiting at least 15 minutes Oh serve me up some greasy love You know that I want it you know that I need it Love! Greasy love! Love! Greasy love!
18.
Burger Jail 01:45
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I took a bag that looked real nice Grease leaking through the bottom, slick as ice I turned around and started to run The manager said “get back here you son of a gun” She caught up to me quick, knocked me over like a gale That’s how I ended up in burger jail Now I’m on the chain gang doing my time Breaking rocks with a pickaxe, I’ve got no idea why My mom always said I looked good in stripes Now I’m serving hard time, yeah it’s twenty to life The warden just laughs, saying “game over, son” But my life in burger jail has just begun
19.
Eat Me Up 01:42
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I was hanging in the burger kingdom While you were clowning around Just when these buns started going stale My entire world turned upside down You took me from the bag And raised me to your mouth That’s when I started to scream and shout (Pass the ketchup) Eat me up, it’s the reason I exist (Pass the ketchup) If you’re hungry I’m happy to assist (Pass the ketchup) I’m so tasty, you know you can’t resist You know you can’t resist We’re not the only pair celebrating I came with my whole crew Many fries and nuggets for masticating Plenty of food for your new friend, too I feel you share a smile As I settle in your gut I’ll see you again, coming out of the concert (You sick freaks) (Pass the ketchup) Eat me up, it’s the reason I exist (Pass the ketchup) If you’re hungry I’m happy to assist (Pass the ketchup) I’m so tasty, you know you can’t resist You know you can’t resist You know you can’t resist You know you can’t resist
20.
Fists Begin To Fly 01:49
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The sun is down, but the tensions rise I feel the chill, see the anger in their eyes He cut the line, don’t be a jerk, hey I was just waiting for my friend What are you, five, that's not how that works, hey buddy, this will be your end And just like that, fists begin to fly Ah, ah, ah I can’t just watch as they throw their lives away Should I break it up, is there something I can say Or just hang back, pull out my phone, maybe record a little bit Think of the likes, I could go viral, just a 60 second clip This is my chance, I cannot delay Ah, ah, ah
21.
Punched Out! 01:29
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I was the big kahuna Yeah I was riding high But my wave came crashing down In the form of an angry, muscular guy I saw him first through my phone screen Then I started to shout He was coming to get me and Punched out Game over, game over Game over, game over Game over, game over Game over, game over
22.
The Music Makes Us One 01:58
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Unclench your fists and take a step away Open your heart and everything will be OK Recall that what we have in common is what brought us here today ‘Cause we are many But the music makes us one And we have plenty So much love under the sun Now all is calm, the anger has been soothed And finally the line begins to move Surrounded by all my new friends it’s time to get into the groove ‘Cause we are many But the music makes us one And we have plenty So much love under the sun ‘Cause we are many But the music makes us one And we have plenty So much love under the sun
23.
Stars Align 01:38
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Waiting on the corner Bummed my t-shirt won't get signed Can't sit and mope here 'Cause my bus has just arrived And I’ve been waiting all my life Many stops to go, slip away Like the blurring lights outside Things don't always go my way But tonight the stars align Sit towards the back And I put my headphones on Need to stay on track Gotta find that perfect song ‘Cause I’ve been waiting oh so long Many stops to go, slip away Like the blurring lights outside Things don't always go my way But tonight the stars align But tonight the stars align
24.
Lullaby, Goodbye 01:39
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Bearded man, acoustic guitar Fall asleep in my warm arms Fireplace, coals burning low Under the covers, head on your pillow Lullaby, goodbye (goodbye, goodbye) Lullaby, goodbye Lullaby, goodbye Hey Hey, kid, wake up It's the end of the line You gotta get off the bus
25.
Spark Of Hope (Family) 01:56
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Walking down that lonesome road Streetlight behind to guide me home I turn away, back towards the dark Thumb held high, waiting on that spark of hope Spark of hope Dust devils wind and tumbleweeds roll Vultures circle high, my spirit sinking low Then a single car slows to a park Flashes the headlights, lighting up my spark of hope Spark of hope Spark of hope Spark of hope An ancient beige minivan is idling before me. On the passenger side, a man with a mop of graying hair rolls down the hand-crank window in a jerky, uneven motion. Out of breath from the mild exertion, he pants, "need a lift?" His wife smiles at me from the driver's seat, and I hear children shouting from the back over a cassette of sing-along songs. "I'm going to the concert," I say, and the man cheerfully replies, "That's where we're going! Hop in!" Is this a happy coincidence, or another distraction on my quest?
26.
The Counting Song 01:54
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One, two, three fluffy clouds in the sky Four, five, six pretty birds flying high Today’s a seven, just like heaven Tomorrow’s an eight, it’s gonna be great And do you know what comes next, it’s mighty fine It’s number nine! Alright kids, count along this time! One, two, three are the chances you get Four, five, six, all good fortune is spent Unlucky seven, have you learned your lesson Hateful eight, now you’ve sealed your fate And do you know what comes next, it’s not so fine (Nine!) No Jeremy, not that It’s game over Everybody! One, two, three fluffy clouds in the sky Four, five, six pretty birds flying high One, two, three are the chances you get Four, five, six, all good fortune is spent
27.
This Could Be 01:36
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When I first got in the car, y’know I was so scared But it wasn’t the hip clothes, the crazy piercings, or their colored hair I thought that they would judge me, call me lame or think I’m nuts And if they saw the real me then they’d leave me in the dust Or maybe this could be Will they be friends with me They really seem to like me, yeah we could talk all night Then one pulls out a joint and asks me, “hey kid do you have a light?” I fumble in my pockets, I can’t seem like a narc My bright and shiny future is quickly growing dark Or maybe this could be The first time I try weed
28.
Stayin' Clean 01:54
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Uh oh, some older kids are offering me drugs Luckily I know what to do I’ve been taught to avoid peer pressure To keep my mind pure and my body fresher Smoking or vaping it’s all the same Staying clean is the name of the game Don’t you want to be cool and have lots of friends Open up your mind, you’re gonna transcend Cannabis can treat your anxiety And health issues that are inflammatory Smoke is terrible for your lungs And marijuana makes you smell like dung And reefer’s just a gateway drug To doing crimes like a common thug It’s actually legal for recreation And we’re all about decriminalization We support expunging records Of all non-violent drug offenders I've been scared straight cause I'm a good kid Don’t wanna go to jail or end up on the skids I’ll say no and I’ll say it loud ‘Cause I wanna make my Uncle Sam proud Instead of THC let’s talk CIA Selling drugs, running guns South America way Destabilizing governments and poor communities You really think the USA deserves impunity I didn’t learn that in history class You must be lying out of your ass I said no politely but you won’t stop Now I’m gonna have to call the cops That’s enough, get out of my car I tried being nice but you’re too bizarre Game over kid, you’re way across town Good luck getting to the concert now
29.
The Burden Of Innocence 02:00
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Pieces of me are broken, made better Fractured, whole, one hit, all it takes Heavy, blurred vision, feeling colors All synapses fire on overdrive Did I inhale right,lungs are hot cinders Smoke and vapor waft in the air Reverberations, my soul echoes Reality schisms, I think I’m high I think I’m high My mind was caged, shattered the bars Canary flew the coal mine Shouldered the weight, now I stand tall Free from the burden of innocence
30.
I'm Late 00:43
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Too many distractions, a ride would have been so convenient I made it to the concert hall, the right one in fact, now that’s an achievement I didn’t get sick, thrown in jail, or attacked I can hear the crowd go wild, I hope that I just missed the opening act I’m late, but not too late I’m late, time for the show

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"The Concert" is both an album and a game. Go to thesestains.com/theconcert to play!

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released July 7, 2023

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These Stains Are Who I Am Somerville, Massachusetts

Two friends writing good songs with dumb lyrics. Our new album/game, "The Concert," is out now! Listen/play at thesestains.com/theconcert

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